Vernon God Little

One of the most entertaining novels I've ever read, second only to Hunter S. Thompson's Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, is Vernon God Little, by Australian-born DBC Pierre, the pseudonym used by Peter Warren Finlay. If you're looking for profound, check out Vanity Fair. If something epic is to your tastes, this book cannot be juxtaposed in any way with Moby Dick. But for a truly fun read with a strong social message, this is the one. Vernon God Little is a brutally honest, sometimes grotesque and thoroughly hilarious glimpse into the dungeon which can be small-town middle America. The book's narrator, 15-year old Vernon Little, is a social loner in rural Texas where he fails to in any way relate or connect with not only his school fears but also his own family, especially his imbalanced single mother. Vernon's only friend is another quiet loner. At least until the friend carries out a Columbine-style massacre, committing suicide afterwards. The resulting press coverage launches the previously unknown town into national headlines which everyone from the mayor to Vernon's own mother hopes will propel them out of their lives dominated by fast-food, reality television and celebrity gossip into a world of fame and wealth which they were all obviously meant for. Through their desperation, poor, innocent Vernon becomes charged with murder as an accomplice to his friend's horrific crimes.

Hmm, for having described the book as hilarious, what I've just written won't exactly have Judd Apatow screaming for the movie rights. But while the plot itself doesn't exactly inspire mirth, Vernon's reactions to his predicament and the startling observations he makes about the world around him are nothing short of pricelessly funny. Finlay could not have created a more situationally appropriate teenage boy than Vernon.

In the final chapter of Vernon God Little, Finlay makes a bold prediction about the future of the American penal system. To say any more would be to give away the book's ending, but the theory is so plausible despite being completely ridiculous that how it hasn't come to fruition already is a complete mystery.

Hopefully this book will be enjoyed by all those who choose to read it. Although unabashedly vulgar at times, this is satire at its best through and through. And here's a snippet to whet your appetite:

"Uh huh. Let me explain that my job is to uncover the truth. Before you think that's a hard thing to do, I'll remind you that, stuss-tistically, only two major forces govern life in this world. Can you name the two forces underlying all life in this world."

"Uh -- wealth and poverty?"

"Not wealth and poverty."

"Good and evil?"

"No -- Cause and effect. And before we start I want you to name the two categories of people that inhabit our world. Can you name the two proven categories of people?"

"Causers and effecters?"

"No. Citizens -- and liars. Are you with me Mister Little. Are you here?"

The House of Sleep

To all those who were concerned: My shoulder is now as good as new and I'd like to thank everyone for their well-wishes. Despite the enormous amount of excruciating pain immediately following, the actual damage must have been minor, because after taking two Advil before bed, I awoke the next morning feeling wholly refreshed and pain-free. Either the incident wasn't anywhere near as serious as it felt, or Advil is some kind of miracle drug. Not that a miracle isn't an unreasonable thing to expect from a pill that costs $6 for a bottle of 20. At that price I should be able to eat a few and regenerate a few limbs.

Anybody need a good book to read? Nina the Fabulous Internet Sleuth sent Jonathan Coe's novel The House of Sleep to me earlier this month and I am now the newest of Coe's writing disciples. This man can weave a plot like a set of 10,000-thread-count sheets. Nominally a love story, this could probably be better described as an obsession story.

The book's chapters alternate between the lives of the four central characters while living in a rundown cliff-side manor which was being used as a boarding house for the university they all attended in the mid-eighties and then fast-forwards about a decade later when they reflect on how circumstances, events and decisions during their school years influence each other's lives in their thirties.

Sarah is a peculiar girl; a narcoleptic who often mistakes her dreams for actual events. Sarah's psyche is severely damaged by Gregory, her equally odd ex-boyfriend who has an unnatural fascination with sleeping habits. Terry's passion for cinema drives him to several extremes, while Terry's friend Robert has some serious identity issues.

The House is a truly excellent book, the kind that sucked me in and held me in a death grip until the last page. Mildly disturbing and extremely funny, there isn't anyone I wouldn't recommend this book to.