Was it just me or was that a truly pitiful inauguration? Granted, my experience of the event was nothing more than an audio feed broadcast on NPR. Still, if that whole ceremony was intended to inspire and restore confidence in America's future, it failed. And I just don't see how adding faces to the voices would have changed much for me.
How is it that no one from Obama's staff even bothered to have Aretha Franklin audition for such a significant engagement? An even scarier possibility is that someone actually did hear the Queen of Soul squeal out her terrible rendition of "My Country Tis of Thee" and thought to themselves, screw it, she's good enough.
And how about Joseph Lowery, aka Reverend Mumbles? Surely this brave and intelligent civil rights leader could have written a more profound benediction by avoiding such phrases as "... until brown can stick around..." and "...when white will do what's right..."
Obama. Obama, Obama, Obama. You're my dude, but how could you botch the oath? THE OATH! After your bumble I overheard a couple of the white-power fellas yelling to each other that this 'goof' was an undeniable indication that you're truly an Islamic sleeper agent after all and could not faithfully recite the oath because your god would be insulted. The rest of the country I'm not too sure about, but it seems this mistake has severely damaged your approval rating among the Nazi demographic. Sorry.
Regardless of this unimpressive gala, today, January 20, is when 2009 really begins for me. I pay no taxes; I cannot vote; all by my basic rights have been stripped away as I stew in a concrete box. Yet with all the giddy enthusiasm within me, I cry out that Barack Obama is MY president.
Oh, and there is a vicious rumor circulating that Super Friends has been nominated on BlogNet as Diarist Blog of the Month. If true, this is a thrilling honor. And in a message to all who read this, three words popularized by the ultimate rapper mogul Puff Daddy - "Vote or Die."